The Lesson

Note: This is another old story of mine, yet one that I am still very proud of to this day. Please use caution when reading this story, there are sensitive topics discussed. Enjoy.

Scene: Jonathan Logden, age 16, practically a nobody to everyone, and yet was fully a somebody to someone. He had his life ahead of him, full of wonder, and full of adventure. But, there was a difference. He didn’t think like anyone else. Why should he? So, he helped someone else learn how to think like him.

Scene: Home…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 1

What do I have to say? I’m practically nobody. I’m not popular, I’m not anyone important. I’m almost invisible. Now, I’m not trying to create a sob story, or anything like that, no. But what can I say? That’s who I am. But I’m not telling you the full story. No, this, my friend, is only act one. I could start at the beginning, but what would the fun in that be? So, scene, my home in Garrison Valley. A place, not found on any map.

I just laid there, looking up at the night sky, looking up at the full moon. No pretty girl beside me, just me, and my thoughts. As I laid there, I thought of what had happened this past summer. Who I met, who I talked to, who I pissed off, and even, who I made laugh. Happiness comes and goes in all forms you know…

Scene: Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 2

I see her laugh, her brown eyes sparkling. I sit in a chair across from her bed, making silly faces and shadow animals.

Jessica, an African American woman, comes in smiling, “Okay you two. Times up.”

I shrug and stand up, “I shall see you, tomorrow.” I smile down at the little girl before me.

“Okay! And bring Mr. Brown Bear! I haven’t seen him in a few days!” Her squeaky voice says.

“I will do that, just don’t let me forget!”

She smiles, her baby and missing teeth showing, “I won’t!”

I wave as Jessica and I make it out the door. Jessica smiles and closes the door behind her. “Alley really appreciates this Jonathan.”

“Yeah, it’s no big deal really.” I crinkle my nose and turn my head to the side, a smile on my face.

“It is too and you know it.” Jessica smiles and walks over to the desk.

“Yeah, I do, but I was always taught not to brag.”

Jessica looks back at me with a raised eyebrow still smiling. “Go on, get out of here!”

I salute her and stand up straight, “Yes ma’am!”

“At ease soldier,” she pats me on the shoulder and I stand by. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You shall.”

“What time this time?”

“I’d say the same time as today.”

“That late? Jonathan…” She looks at me not disappointed but a look of sadness.

“I have plans tomorrow Jess. Not full plans, but plans.”

“Oh?” She rests up against the desk and looks interested in what I have to say. “And what are those plans?”

“Well, Jess, if you must know, I’m hoping to have plans with a girl.”

“A girl? No foolin’? Nah, not Jonathan, the invisible boy!”

I shrug, trying to look smug, “Well,” I say exhaling, “anything’s possible!”

Jessica laughs as she watches me walk away backwards, “Yeah, you’ve got that right! See you later Jonathan.”

“See ya!” I wave and then turn around and go down another hallway, making it to some stairs. As I go down the stairs, my body at an angle I think of what might happen tomorrow, and if the girl I’m after will fall into my plan.

Heading home to my small house was peaceful and quiet. My handmade sun roof in the old 1974 Chevy truck let the light from the moon, the stars, and the lampposts shine into my truck. I smile as I pull into my driveway.

“Hey kid, did you go see Alley?” My dad says as I walk into the house and close the door behind me.

“Yeah,” I plop my keys into a small basket on the table next to the door.

“How’s she doing?”

“She seems to be doing fine. I ah, didn’t really ask. Or I haven’t to be honest with you.” I walk into our living room and sit down in a chair across from my dad.

“Hmm,” he says thoughtfully. “You haven’t asked at all?”

I shake my head, “No, not yet. I’m pretty scared to tell you the truth. To ask, I mean. I’m pretty scared of what I might hear.”

My dad nods in agreement, “I know exactly what you mean Jonathan.”

I sigh and look down at my hands, “Yeah, I know.”

“It’s your mom’s birthday tomorrow. Shall we buy her some flowers?”

I smile at the thought, “Yeah, big red and pink ones, she’d love them I’m sure.”

He smiles and stands up, “Yes, she would. Especially since they’re her favorite colors.”

I nod and stand up myself, “Shall we head out then?”

“Uh huh,” my dad heads to the front door, and taking the keys out of the basket he tosses them to me. “You drive tonight. I’m too tired.”

I smile as I grab our coats and then head out the door to the old truck. I close the door to the truck and hand my dad his coat. “Dad, how long have you had this truck?”

He smiles at me as I start the engine and start backing out of the dirt driveway into the dirt road. “I’ve told you this story so many times.”

I laugh as I turn right and start driving. “You know that, and I know that, but, I like hearing it the day before mom’s birthday. You and I both know that too.”

My dad laughs as he relaxes and closes his eyes, getting ready to tell the story that he’s told me for the past nine years.

Scene: Flower Shop…Past….Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 3

Walking into the flower shop made memories flood back into my mind. The smell of flowers and roses is overpowering but good.

“Hey Joe!” My dad says to the man behind the desk.

“Hey Dash! I’ve got your wife’s flowers right here.” Joe goes behind a curtain and comes out with a bouquet full of pink and red roses and flowers.

“You do a number every year Joe,” my dad says with a smile as he takes the bouquet.

Joe laughs and puts his hands on his hips, “Well I should hope so! Otherwise you’d only be coming to me because I’m your friend!”

I smile at the conversation between my dad and Joe.

“Well, how much this time?”

“About $5.50.”

“Oh boy Joe, you’re really making me go broke. There’s only six flowers here!” My dad, Joe and I all laugh at this. Same joke every year for as long as I can remember, and it never gets old.

“Yeah, yeah, just give me the money.”

My dad hands over the money, a smile still on his face, “Well then Joe, with that attitude maybe my family and I will take our need for flowers and our business elsewhere!”

“Well then you go ahead and do that.”

Joe and my dad chuckle as my dad waves and heads for the door. “See you later Joe.”

“See you later guys! And give your wife my love and best.”

“Will do,” my dad says and he walks out, the bell on the door jingling. I look back and smile at Joe and wave myself.

“Bye Jonathan!”

“See ya Joe,” I say and head out into the dark night back to the truck. “Hey dad?” I say as I close the door and lock it.

“Yeah?”

“What’s the time?”

“Oh, 10:50.”

I nod, “Shall we go then?”

“You know the way,” my dad smells the flowers and smiles. “Your mother will be pleased.”

I smile, “Joe always outdoes himself every year. Every year they seem to get even prettier.”

My dad nods in agreement as the truck heads down Jester Road. It’ll be a bit of a drive, but it won’t take too long to get back.

Scene: Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 4

Waking up in the coolness of the bright early morning and a beautiful sunrise on my mom’s birthday is a wonderful way to wake up. As the truck slows to a stop my dad gets out and looks at me with a smile.

“Ready?”

“Uh huh, what time is it?”

“About 6:30. Your mom was born at 6:20. Now, come on.”

I let out a grunt as the coolness hits my bones as I get out of the truck and follow my dad. I yawn and rub my eyes, stumbling as I do so.

My dad looks back at me, waiting for me and I come up beside him. “Happy birthday my love. And Joe says hi, giving you his love and his best. He’s outdone himself again on the flowers.”

I smile as I step back a little bit and let my dad kneel over the grave and talk to my mom. I read the gravestone inscription for about the seventh time since she died. Here lies Sophia Arlene Arlington Logden. A loving mother, wife, daughter and sister with a big heart. November 23, 1978 — April 5, 2006. You are missed, remembered always and loved.

My dad looks up at me, tears in his eyes. That day was the first time I had seen my dad cry and it had scared me. “Go ahead.”

I give a grim forced smile and I pat my dad’s shoulder as he steps back and hands me the three remaining flowers, the plastic flower holder crumpled in his left hand. I sigh as I kneel down and feel a tear escape from my eye. I place my flowers on the other side of the grave and smile as I position them to point to her name.

“I love you mom. Happy birthday. Dad and I are doing okay. I’ve gotten better in the past year.” I sniffle as I wipe away another tear and I give a small laugh, “you know, dad’s still making those weird flower things out of our fruit and veggies. I think he’s going to do it again today for dinner.” I sniffle again and wipe away another tear as my nose begins to get stuffy. “On your anniversary and on your birthday, and on the day you guys met.” I laugh again, deciding to make this visit short since school will be starting up in a few hours. “We love you mom. And we miss you.”

I lean down and put my head on the gravestone. I stand up and smile back at my dad. There are dry traces of tears on his cheeks and he smiles. “You ready?”

I nod, “Yeah, let’s go, we’ve got a ways back.”

He nods too, “We do, let’s go sport.” He puts his arm around my shoulders as we head back to the truck. “You drive.”

“Okay,” I say as we part ways. I get into the driver’s seat and shut the door and dad climbs in and shuts the door too.

It was quiet on the way back home, just like it always is on our way to go see mom. We talk to fill in the silence going to see her, but going back, silence is all that fills the truck.

I look up at the clock on the wall as I place the truck keys in the basket. 8:12. I have time to get to school. Not much time, but enough time.

“Hey dad I’ve gotta head out,” I look in the living room and see my dad passed out on the couch. I chuckle and shake my head. He slept on the way there, and a little on the way back and now, he’s sleeping again.

I walk out of the living room, pass the front door and head into the dining room and then the kitchen. I make my way through another kitchen door and I get to my room. I walk into the baby blue room and I walk over to my dresser. I pull out some clean pants and then I walk over to my closest and pull out a clean red shirt.

I take off my green hoodie and throw it on the bed. I take off my yellow shirt and throw that into a laundry basket. Then I slip on my red shirt and slip out of my blue jeans and into some clean dark ones.

I grab my hoodie and my backpack and head to the bathroom next door. I come out two minutes later and grab my backpack and hoodie off of the floor and head for the door. I look up at the clock on the wall and notice that it’s now 8:15. I zip up my hoodie, sling my backpack over my right shoulder, grab the truck and house keys and head out the door. I lock the wooden door but leave the screen door unlocked.

I take off my backpack as I get into the truck and place it next to me. I start up the truck and once again, pull out of the dirt driveway and onto the small dirt road.

Scene: School…Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 5

Walking into class on a Friday morning about fifteen minutes late is never a good thing. Especially when your first period class is with Derek Windsor. All the other days, I’m invisible, except for today.

“Mr. Logden, it’s so nice of you to finally join us. Why are you late today?”

That’s the question he always asks if a kid is however many minutes late to class. Some say they lost track of time, some say they were in the bathroom, some say that their parents made them late because they believe in carpooling. I, of course, gave a smart ass answer.

I shrugged, a smug look on my face, “Well Mr. Windsor, I guess I’m late because I don’t have a watch. You see, I don’t even have a phone, so I’m terribly sorry for being late. Do you ah, have any kind suggestions for me so I won’t be late again?”

This made Mr. Windsor mad. He looked like a volcano ready to explode. See, I’ve seen other kids come in late, tell him why, and then he’d have a suggestion for them before they could be late again.

I swear to you though, every kid in the classroom gasped. I am the first person, this year that is, to talk to Mr. Windsor that way. Everyone knows what Mr. Windsor would do, he even has a reputation because of it. But he’s taking anger management classes now and his job is on the line, so he wouldn’t dare blow.

“Then Mr. Logden,” he says as he’s slowly exhaling, he’s playing with one of those stress balls and I try to hold back a smile and look him back in the eyes. “I suggest you either get a watch or leave early in order to be on time! Now, take your seat!”

A smile spreads across my face as I take my seat in the back row. As I start to get out my notebook and a pencil and just as Mr. Windsor took in a huge breath to start talking again, the door opened. And in came in my plan. The smile on my face just grew wider as once again, Mr. Windsor asked her why she was late.

“If you’ll take your seat now!” Mr. Windsor said, squeezing the happy face ball even tighter.

“But Mr. Windsor, can’t you just…”

He cuts her off with a loud, “Now!”

She instantly shuts up which is a nice change for once and takes her seat two rows in front of me.

“Now, we were going to go on an outing today, but since you two un-devoted students came in late, you two are now paired.”

The smug smile on my face turned into a bigger one. My plan is working. I know that every Friday she comes in late, and every Friday, Mr. Windsor has an outing for us. So, today, I start my plan in action.

Garrison High is different from any other high school. Instead of us reading from textbooks everyday we get partners and head out to the library or history museum or wherever we need to go to learn. Only two classes in total have us read from textbooks but that’s only if we’re conducting real experiments and we need to know how to set it up or what to do. Garrison Valley is a very small town so everyone participates in teaching ‘the next generation’.

She’s looking around asking all of the kids in the class if they’re her partner. One by one they shake their heads no and one by one they stand up and wait for their real partners. Soon it’s just her and me. Even Mr. Windsor is gone. He’s probably headed to the school bus.

Her eyes lock with mine and a look of disgust and anger plaster over her face. “You? I’m paired with you?!”

A grin follows my smirk and I place my hands behind my head as I lean the chair back to where it hits the wall. “Well, it looks like you’re stuck with me.”

She scoffs, “I need to ask Mr. Windsor if I can have a new partner.”

I sigh, the smug smile still on my face, “I don’t think so princess. I doubt he’s going to pair you up with anyone else.” I let the chair slam down on the floor and stand up. I tower over her a bit.

She narrows her eyes and looks at me, “I can be very convincing.”

I cock an eyebrow, “Oh really? Hmm, well then, I hope you can be very convincing to Mr. Windsor when you run after the bus telling it to stop.”

She looks at me confused, “What?”

I jerk my head towards the window as the bus drives off with our class and not us.

“I-I need to be on that bus!” She points out the window, her attitude completely changed from a snobby witch to a whiny baby.

I sigh and start walking away, “Well if you want to catch that bus I suggest you follow me.” I look back at her before I go out the door.

She looks at me skeptical and sighs, “Alright.”

As I hop into my truck she’s running after me. She’s panting as she comes up to my truck, “This thing? We’re riding in this thing?”

I pat the steering wheel and smile, “She’s my prize beauty.”

She looks at me, eyebrows raised.

“I do suggest you get in Eydie. Or we’re going to miss our bus.”

She sighs as she opens the door and climbs in. She slams the door shut and huffs.

My plan should work. But why Eydie? Because she needs me. Even though she doesn’t know it yet.

“Well I’m sorry princess but if you want to catch up to that bus…” I pause as I start the truck and she just looks at me.

“Just hurry up will you? They must be halfway there by now!”

I put up my hands in defense before driving out of the school parking lot. “Oh come on princess, calm down. Besides, this is all your fault anyway.”

“My fault? You think this is my fault?!”

“No, I don’t think so, I know it is. If you weren’t so picky…”

She rolls her eyes and sighs, cutting me off, “Just shut up and drive!”

I smile a tight smile, “So, what do you think we’re learning about today? This is after all history class right?”

She gives an irritated “Ugh” and just stares out the window.

“I think we’re going back to the museum again. You know, I’ve never really understood why we have a history museum, but then again, I can…”

Eydie sighs and looks back at me, “You never shut up do you?”

I shrug as I stop at a stoplight and then take a left. “No, not really.”

Scene: Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 6

As I pull into a parking lot Eydie looks at me stunned. “This isn’t the history museum.”

I look at her and say, “Well no shit Sherlock.”

She narrows her eyes at me, “Don’t say that to me! And why are we here?”

I smile a tight smile and raise my eyebrows, “Okay little miss diva. Look, you stay here okay? I’ll be a while.”

“I’m going in with you.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am. Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do!”

“Why? You let your parents boss you around all time. I mean, you play the piano, the violin, and you know three different languages.”

Her face gets red and I can tell she’s both angry and curious at the same time. “How would you know that?”

“I also know that your dad taught you archery, as well as how to play golf. And learn almost everything there is to know about the business world.”

“And you know that how?” She asked me again.

“I can read minds, now stay here like a good little daddy’s girl.” I get out of the truck and start walking. Not too much later I hear the truck door slam again and Eydie jogs to catch up with me.

“Why are we here?” She asks keeping her pace with mine.

“I told you I was going to be a while and that I’d be back. Why didn’t you just stay in the truck?”

“Because you dragged me along! You made me miss the bus, and now I’m stuck with you. That’s why.”

I sigh, “You have a really bitchy attitude, you know that?”

That makes her shut up and we walk up to the doors.

“What time is it?” I ask as I make my way to the elevators.

“Why?”

“Just tell me the damn time.” I look at her and make eye contact. “Please.”

She digs her phone out of her purse and presses the power button. “8:45 why?”

I press the elevator button again but with no avail. “We’ve got to take the stairs.”

“What? No. Why?”

“Look, you can wait for the elevator if you want but I can’t waste any time!” I start heading for the stair doors but curiosity must’ve gotten to the cat because Eydie shows up next to me.

“What floor?” She asks as we start climbing.

“12th. I suggest you save your breath.”

“Twelve? Really?”

“Uh huh,” I say, trying not to talk anymore as we continue to climb. Eydie’s breathing is starting to get heavy around the 5th floor. “For a girl that works out a lot, you sure get tired quickly.”

“It’s my asthma.” She spats, “hey look, floor six, can’t we take the elevator now?”

“Only six more floors to go princess. We can make it.”

She sighs and takes out her phone. “Look, we’ve been climbing these stairs for the past fifteen minutes. Whatever deadline you’re trying to make isn’t going to work!” By the time she said ‘whatever’ her breathing got more shallow and I could tell she couldn’t go any farther.

“Come on princess!” I say as I look back and see her falling behind. “You can do it!”

Beads of sweat are running down her cheeks and they line her forehead. She sighs and takes another puff of her medication. “Look, ah,” she pauses as she waits for my name to come to her.

“Jonathan,” I say as I sigh, stopping. “Come on, don’t give up now.” I look up the next ten stairs and see that we’re going to be on level seven. I look back at Eydie and say, “Look, ten more stairs, maybe a little more max because you’re down there and I’m right here.”

She stands up and grunts and then climbs the remaining stairs up to me. I hold out my hand and she grabs it, and I pull her up, helping her to the step I’m standing on.

“Good job princess. Now we can take the elevator the rest of the way.”

“Oh god, thank you.” She breathes out, and she sounds relieved, not like she was using it just to say it or in vain.

We walk up the next ten steps and I pull open the door. Air conditioning feels so nice when the stairs are hot and non air conditioned and you’re all sweaty. “Look, there’s an elevator over there, let’s go.” Not thinking I take Eydie’s hand and lead her over to the elevators. When I notice I let go and pull away, “Sorry.”

Once the elevators ding open to the 12th floor I walk over to the desk and I smile at Jessica.

“While I’ll be. But shouldn’t you be in school?”

I shrug, “It’s just a field trip, they won’t miss us.”

“Uh huh, sure.” Jessica says but she’s smiling.

“That’s the girl I was telling you about.” I whisper leaning in.

Jessica looks at the girl behind me who’s currently leaning against the wall, “Oh, she’s pretty. How’d you get her?”

“History partner.”

“Ah okay.”

“Can I-?”

“Mhm, go ahead. She can’t wait to see you.”

I smile, “Thanks,” I say and nod as I look at Eydie. “Come on.”

Eydie follows me down the hall and we stop at room 12B. I open the door and knock with the door halfway open.

“Come in!” She says and I open the door fully and I smile. She gasps, smiling, “Jonathan!”

“Hey beauty,” I say and sit down on the edge of her bed. “I brought a friend with me,” I look back at Eydie and motion for her to come closer.

“Hi,” Alley says shyly.

Eydie smiles, putting her hands on her knees and looking Alley in the eyes. “Hi.”

Alley smiles and then looks at me, “Can you stay long?”

I shake my head, my smile tight. “No, but I thought I’d ask you how it went.”

Alley shrugs, she looks a little disappointed as she rests her back against her pillows.

“Well, how’d it went?” I asked and winked at her.

That made her smile and I saw some teeth growing in, but of course she still had a lot of baby teeth. She is, after all, only six.

“It went okay I guess. It didn’t hurt of course.”

I nod, knowing what she meant, “Yeah…are you feeling better?”

She does a one shoulder shrug, “I guess so. I can’t really say, but I’m really tired.”

I nod knowing what she meant. “Well beauty, I guess I have to get going.”

“Do you have to?” She asks sadly.

“Afraid so kiddo but I’ll tell you this, I’ll be back later okay? But I’ve got a date with this girl right here.”

I see Eydie look at me with death in her eyes but then she quickly looks away so Alley doesn’t see and I try to hold back a smirk as a result.

Alley just smiles at me and nods, “Alright then. I’ll see you later.”

I smile and take her tiny left hand in mine, “You’ll forgive me then?”

“I always do,” she says, playing along.

I nod as I stand up and let go of her hand. “See you Alley.” I say no longer playing.

“See ya Jonathan. See ya Eydie.”

Eydie smiles down at Alley and waves, “See ya beauty, nice meeting you.”

“You too!”

I smile as Eydie and I leave the room. I shut the door and then that’s when Eydie goes off. “What in the hell! You said! No! I’m not! Ugh!”

I let the smile on my face grow wider as she can’t even finish her sentences and I laugh.

“Shut up!”

“Shhh” I say as I put my finger up to my lips, “there are other kids on this floor you know.”

She looks at me with anger in her eyes, “Don’t tell me to ‘shhh’!”

I shrug and say, “Now you can’t expect me to lie to Alley now do you?”

Her look of anger and rage looked like a death call for me and the grim reaper. If looks could kill I would be dead on the spot.

“Hey Jess?” I say walking over to the desk and ending the conversion between Eydie and I.

Jessica pretends to look busy as she looks up at me. “Hmm?” Her smile says she was listening in on our little conversation.

I shake my head smiling, “Oh Jess, I would’ve told you.” I wink at her and she laughs. “But,” I say, starting to get serious, “how is Alley doing? I asked her but she says she’s alright.”

She shrugs, her smile fading, “She seems fine but her body is starting to reject treatment.”

I nod knowing the seriousness.

“But we’re not assuming that…you know…”

I nod not really knowing what to say or do. “Jess, look, I’ve ah, gotta get going but I’ll be back later.”

Jessica nods and gives a grim smile, “And how are you doing?”

I shrug, “Fine I guess.”

“Mmhmm, I’ll see you later?”

“You can bet your bottom dollar,” I say with a wink and walk off.

Eydie storms after me to the elevators and I press the down button. “And there is no way in hell to make me go out with you tonight!”

“Oh? But see, I’m not like every other guy at school. I couldn’t give a rats ass if you didn’t go out with me tonight! But I do know that you need a good grade in science class!”

She looks at me a little bewildered, “Ugh!”

“Good then it’s settled.”

“You can’t do that! That’s blackmail!”

I inhale and smile, “Looks like I just did princess.” The doors ding open and I step inside. As the doors are about to close Eydie gets in and stands away from me.

“Just take me back to school.”

“I wouldn’t have it another way. Boy is Mr. Windsor going to be pissed.”

She makes a noise like she was just hurt and I look over at her. She looks a little stressed out.

“Are you alright?” I ask, looking at her and down at the floor as if I’m watching a ping pong match.

“My…I need this class. I need a good grade!” She wipes away a few tears and I give a sympathetic smile.

“Why?”

“Because I need a good grade…I need to get into Carlton.”

“Carlton? Isn’t that a top college?”

She nods, “Yeah,” she wipes away another tear as she looks down at the floor.

“Why Carlton? Is that your dream college?” By now we’re on floor six.

“I don’t know…”

“Well what do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I want to travel. But my dad wants me to go into business. So I guess I’m going into business.”

“Why do you want to do what your father wants?”

She shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“You can’t do that to yourself Eydie! You have to learn how to say no. And not just to me either. You need to stand up for yourself!”

“I can’t,” she says quietly.

“Oh no? Is that why you’ve learned so many different languages? Is that why you’re trying so hard? Learn to say ‘no’ Eydie!”

We get out of the elevator and everyone’s looking at us like we’re crazy or something is about to happen. Time to think fast.

“Oh Eydie, sweetheart, don’t worry she’s going to be okay.”

Eydie looks at me like I’m crazy but then when I put my arm around her shoulder and take her right hand in my left she looks like she wants to kill me again but I wink hoping she’ll catch on.

“Oh, ah, yeah, but…”

“You just gotta learn to say ‘no’ love. Say no to death so our baby can live.”

People are still looking at us like we’re crazy but once we get out the door we separate. “Nice job. You caught on fast.”

“Uh huh, yeah, I guess so.” We walk the rest of the way to the truck in silence. I get in and so does she. “So, what is Alley to you exactly? A relative?”

I shake my head as I start the truck, “No, she’s just a girl I’ve known for a while.”

“What did that lady mean when she asked if you were okay?”

I drive out of the parking lot and make a right. I wait a few minutes before I answer, “I guess she just asked me how I was, that’s all.”

“Mmm, okay. Hey, where’re you going?”

“Back to school. We’ve got other classes you know.”

“Yeah but…alright.” Eydie slouches down and looks out the window.

“Why do you want to spend time with a guy who’s name you can’t even remember?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. I could care less about my grades and where I go to college. But my family is high in the business and political standards. My dad, he…he didn’t fulfill his dad’s wishes of being in the highness of business people but he’s high up there, my dad is, too bad my grandpa died before he could actually be proud of his son.”

Scene: Home…Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 7

After school I headed for home and I told Eydie I was going to pick her up at her house around six, so that gave me about three hours before I had to be there.

I walk into the house and I smell some food. Baked chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and cooked asparagus. “Dad, I’m home!” I say walking into the kitchen.

He looks up from the stove smiling at me, “Hey, so, did your plan work?”

I smile as I sit down at the ‘dinner for two’ table and I see the plate in the middle of the table with the little vegetables made to look like flowers, the fruit surrounding the vegetables and I smile, “Yeah, but I had to take her to go see Alley. I meant to go alone but she missed the bus.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…”

“And did Alley have her treatment today?”

“Yeah, and I asked her how she was. She said she was okay but she wasn’t sure but she knew she was feeling tired.”

My dad nods, “Yeah, one of the side effects.”

“Then I asked Jessica how she was doing and she told me that her body’s starting to reject treatment. She said they’re not going to assume that, well, you know.”

My dad sighs and grabs a couple of plates and as he puts the food on he says, “She’ll be alright.”

I wipe away a tear and nod as I sniffle, “Yeah, she’s a tough little girl.”

“Are you still playing that game with her?”

“Yeah, she likes pretending that we’re spies and stuff. Or anything I can come up with. It makes her smile.”

My dad chuckles as he places my plate in front of me.

“But I’m picking Eydie up at six,” I say before taking a bite of mashed potatoes and chicken.

“Okay,” my dad says sitting down across from me with his plate of food. “So, what’re you guys going to do?”

I shrug, “I know what I want to do, but you’ll figure that out later.” I smile and so does my dad.

“Alright sure, so technically it’s for you to know and us to find out?”

“Exactly,” I say and pop another fork full of mashed potatoes and chicken into my mouth.

Scene: Eydie’s House…Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 8

As I pull up to Eydie’s house I wait for her to come out and I check the watch I borrowed from dad. 5:59. It’s a little dark outside for being six but then again, it’s only November. As I see her come outside I wave and she waves back.

“Okay so, study time right?”

“Hop in,”

She walks in front of the truck and gets in. “Studying right? C’mon, I need to study! I had Caroline give me notes of what went on during our outing.” She holds up her history book and I see pages sticking out.

I start driving and then I look at her as we get to a stop sign and I engage my left turn signal. I make the turn and then shake my head, “No, we’re going to do something slightly different.”

“Like what?”

“Like skating. You need to loosen up a bit Eydie, we’ll get to those notes later, but for now we’ve gotta have some fun. Thankfully your house isn’t too far from Gus’s Rollers.” I make another right turn down 72nd street and then a left turn into the parking lot of the roller rink.

“I haven’t been here in years,” Eydie says in awe.

“I never thought you’d actually come here.”

She gives me another stink eye as we approach the ticket booth.

“Just you two?”

“Yeah, how much?”

“Ten dollars.”

I hand the lady a ten dollar bill and smile as she hands us our skates. “Thanks.”

She nods and we walk inside the old rink. It’s set up just like it was in the fifties.

“Whoa, talk about a time warp.”

“I hear that the floor is original too.”

She smiles as she turns around in a circle. I laugh and when she stops I hand her her skates. “Thanks.”

“Hey, the witch from earlier is gone!” I say jokingly.

She nods, “I’ve been thinking more about what you said and I agree completely with you.”

“Good,” I say with a smile as I get on my skates. She may be starting to loosen up but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

She sits down next to me and puts her skates on as I tighten my laces. I stand up and wait for Eydie to get her skates on and I smile. She smiles up at me as she stands up.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go!” She laughs as she almost falls on the wooden skate rink. “Oh shit!” She says and I catch her by her arm and I laugh.

“Careful there princess,” I let go of her and start skating.

“Hey wait up! I haven’t done this in a…” she screams as she falls on her butt and I skate back around to help her up. “A long while!” She says with a laugh.

Scene: Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 9

I knock on the door and I smile as I enter Alley’s room. “Jonathan!” She says happily.

“Hey beauty, did you miss me?”

“I always do!”

I smile again and I show her my hands, “Ready? I brought someone along who missed you.”

“YES!” She says with a smile as she tries to sit up without the IV stuck in her arm moving.

I turn on a small lamp light and turn it towards the wall just under the tv and then turn off the lights. I walk over to the small circle of light on the wall and I work my hands into a bear.

“Yay!”

I smile as I lower my voice more into a deep deep voice, “Why hello Alley, have you missed me?”

She nods, “Yes I have!”

“And you remember my name?”

“But of course. You’re Mr. Brown Bear!”

“Yes, I am! So, what should I tell you today?”

“Tell me where you went, I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Well, what if I told you I went to a magical place?”

“Yeah?” She asks, sounding interested.

“And in that place, everyone was happy.”

“Was anyone sick?”

“No, no one was sick, in fact, all anyone ever ate was ice cream and anything that you might desire.”

“Go on,” she says, sounding intrigued.

“Well, everyone’s friendly there and everyone knows everyone.”

“Why’d you come back? Weren’t you happy there?”

“But of course I was, but I wasn’t about to miss my favorite person in the whole wide world! What kind of friend would I be?”

Alley laughs, “Not a very good one.”

“No, not at all. Is there anything you wish to tell me about what happened while I was gone?”

“I had my treatment again earlier today. I just feel really tired.”

I have Mr. Brown Bear nod, “I understand. Do you want me to go so you can have some sleep?”

Alley shakes her head, “I want you to stay. Can you stay?”

“For a while miss Alley. But not for long. Jonathan has to take me back to the happy place and then he has to go home.”

“Okay. Haven’t you found a name for the place yet?”

“No, not yet. I was hoping you’d help me. What do you want to name it?”

“Hmm,” she says thinking. “How about Heaven? Like the real place but let’s call it Heaven on Earth.”

“Okay,” Mr. Brown Bear says, nodding.

“Sweet!” Alley says again smiling. She yawn s tiredly.

I smile and then stand up and then flick the lights on. She looks at me a little disappointed that it’s over. “Sorry kiddo, but you should get some rest.” I click off the lamp and I pull the covers up just a bit.

Alley’s head slouches down heavily on her pillow. “You’ll come back right?”

“But of course,” I say with a smile looking down at her.

“Okay,” she replies and with that she falls asleep.

I close her door quietly and then I head over to the desk where Jessica sits. “Hey Jess.”

She looks up at me and smiles sweetly, “Hey Jonathan. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“As to you too Jess. Alley seems really tired.”

She nods, a hint of sadness and worry in her eyes. “Yeah, she’s been like that since her treatment earlier. How’s everything going with you and that girl?”

“It’s all pretty good. I mean, my plan is working.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” I smile as I knock on the desk.

“So when are you coming in to see Dr. Martin?”

“Oh, ah, soon I think.”

“Have you been taking your meds?”

I nod, “Yeah, I have been.”

“Everything’s good then?”

“Yeah, everything’s good.”

“And you feel…?”

“Fine,” I say exhaling. What Jess is asking me doesn’t make me mad. Jess is a full time pediatric desk nurse. Here night and day. I got really close to her when I was here and being that she’s the only living person in her family, she considers everyone on this floor as her family.

“Alright, now head on home. Get some rest huh?”

I nod and knock on the desk again, smiling at Jessica as I leave.

Heading home it was peaceful. Dark, but peaceful. And walking into the house to smell freshly made chocolate cake made me smile. I walk into the kitchen as I see my dad frosting the cake. He looks back at me and smiles.

“Hey, just got home in time. Are you ready?”

I smile and nod as my dad puts in 34 different candles that he’s saved up over the years. He’s even got me doing it with my own secret stash.

“Will ya hit the lights?”

I nod as I look to my left and flick off the kitchen lights. The only light shining now is the single candle my dad lit to light all of the other candles on the birthday cake. After he lights up all the 34 candles he places the 35th one in it’s rightful spot.

I walk over to my dad and we each put an arm over each other’s shoulders and we start singing. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear mooom. Happy birthday to you!”

My dad and I smile as we clap and say, “Yay!” My dad looks at me and smiles. “Ready?”

“Ready,” I say and we both blow out all 36 candles together. The kitchen is engulfed in darkness and I make my way to the light switch and flick them on.

My dad walks over to a kitchen drawer and pulls out a knife and then walks back, cutting into the double layer chocolate cake. He puts a piece of cake on a plate and hands it to me and I set it down on his side of the table and I sit down as he brings my plate to me and sets it down in front of me.

I smile and grab a plastic fork off of the table and so does he as we dig into this once a year cake.

Scene: School…Past…Jonathan Logden…Act 1…Scene 10

Having a rainy day on a school day is wonderful. But sitting in Mr. Windsor’s history class reading from the textbook isn’t exactly fun when we were going to go out on another outing. And hearing Mr. Windsor talk the whole time is boring. Almost as boring as watching Eydie pass notes back and forth with her friends.

“And finally!” Mr. Windsor says ten seconds before class ends, “Get together with your partners! There will be a test next week! Have a nice weekend!” The bell rings and everyone files out of the classroom except for me, Eydie and Mr. Windsor.

“So, I’ll pick you up around six again?”

Eydie shrugs, “I have plans tonight. How’s Alley doing?”

I shrug, “I don’t know. I…the last time I saw her was Tuesday…or Wednesday…all I know is that it was my mom’s birthday. So,” I think for a while before continuing. “Uh, yeah that was Tuesday. I feel really bad for not seeing her.”

Eydie nods, “So you haven’t seen her at all?”

I shake my head sadly, “Sadly no. And I haven’t talked to Jess. I haven’t been back.

Eydie looks at me, studying me. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Where?” I ask quizzically as she takes my wrist pulling me towards the door. I slightly pull back, “Wait, what about your friends?!”

“They can wait! There’s a very important girl waiting for us!” I let her pull me along and then we fast-walk all the way to my truck before we can be stopped.

Eydie runs into the hospital and as I run after her I hear her say, “Come on dear! We’ve gotta make it!”

She bolts for the stairs as I tirelessly say, “Yes but of course!”

As we get to the 5th floor we’re both panting heavily. “Elevator?” I ask, holding my sides.

“Elevator!”

“Good!” I say as I open the huge door. The air conditioning hitting us in the face once more. We walk over to the elevators and press the up button. As the elevator makes its way down and opens Eydie takes two puffs of her medicine.

As we get out of the elevator on the 12th floor. I see Jessica peer over her desk as she stands up. “Jonathan!”

I run over to Jessica and she comes out and hugs me. “Oh Jonathan! Where have you been?!”

I hug her back tightly, “I-I couldn’t come back for a while. I…”

“Shh…” she pulls back, holding my face in her hands. “Look Jonathan, it’s okay alright? Dr. Martin told me.”

My eyebrows furrow in worry, “How’s Alley?” I say changing the subject and Jessica lets go of me.

“Go in and see her if you want, but not too well.”

I shake my head, feeling the tears, “I can’t Jess. I just…can’t.”

She nods, “I understand.”

I nod, “Okay…and how bad is ‘not too well’?”

She sighs, “Pretty bad. She’s asleep now though.”

I look at Eydie and then back at Jessica. “I’ll go see her.”

Jessica and Eydie nod as I walk over to Alley’s door. I open the door and go into the dimly lit room. I walk over to the sleeping Alley and watch as a tear falls from my eye and falls on Alley’s arm, I see that she has the oxygen tubes going into her nose and the IV is still dripping, sticking out of her left arm.

Alley stirs and she wakes up and looks at me. I stiffen. “Jonathan!” She says tiredly.

“Shh,” I say, stroking her sweaty head. She smiles up at me before closing her eyes. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here for but it takes a while before she fully goes back to sleep peacefully.

I walk out and close the door as quietly as I can, forgetting that it’s still pretty early outside.

“How is she?” Eydie asks, wringing her hands.

I shrug, “Not too good.” I feel a pain in my heart and all I can see is a sick little girl who’ll be going to Heaven soon.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 1

As I get home I notice my dad is gone. I figure that he’s out working or something. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, my dad works quite a lot and he carpools with some of the people he works with. He just takes the few days before my mom’s birthday off. I go to my room and flop down on the bed. Pain shooting at my heart. I feel the tears come and I start crying. I just let it all come out.

“Why God! Why? First my mom, and now Alley! Why are you doing this God?! Making my dad even suffer as I get sick too! Why God? Why, why, why, why?!” I scream as I bury my face into the bed and my pillows. I keep repeating ‘why’ over and over again.

A few hours later I hear the front door close followed by a, “Jonathan? Are you home?”

I’m gripping a pillow as I lay down on the bed, just staring up at the ceiling.

“Jonathan?” I hear my dad say as he gets closer.

“Yeah,” I say hoarsely. “I’m home.”

My dad opens the door after he gives a slight knock, “Jonathan?”

“Hey dad,” I say, still staring.

“I…Jessica gave me a call and told me about Alley.”

“Okay…” I blink as another tear falls.

My dad sighs, “She’ll be okay Jonathan.”

I shake my head, “You didn’t see her dad. She’s not going to make it.” My voice breaks and I feel more tears come to my eyes.

“You don’t know that, maybe she’ll pull through.”

I know my dad means well but I know what he’s saying is bullshit. “No dad!” I sit up and look at him, “She’s not going to get better! She’s going to end up just like mom! In a small cramped box in the damn ground!”

I could see the hurt in my dad’s face and I had just caused it. He just nods and walks away and I’m kicking myself for being an ass. As the tears come I walk over to the punching bag and I start wailing. I hit it as hard as I can, making my hands hurt as a result. But do I care? No. I just keep punching and punching it as hard as I can.

I wake up on the floor in a bit of a fetal position. Earlier, after I punched the hell out of the punching bag I fell to the floor in pain. My knuckles were bleeding, and because of me punching as hard as I could my side started hurting and I was soaked with sweat. I stand up, my legs like jello. I steady myself after a while and slowly walk into the kitchen. I see my dad playing with the food on his plate.

My heart aches and I feel like I need to cry again but there just aren’t anymore tears. “Dad…” I say, my voice still hoarse.

My dad looks up and turns around looking at me, not saying anything. I see the pain in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…I mean…” I fall to my knees, the pain in my chest getting bigger as I can’t breathe.

My dad stands up and walks over to me. He places a hand on my chest and says, “Breathe, it’s okay…it’s okay.” As my breathing goes back to normal my dad hugs me. “I’m so sorry Jonathan.”

I hug my dad tightly, “I’m so sorry. But why are you sorry?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know, your mother. You lost her, and then you lost me for a while. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you.” My dad starts crying and it still scares me. Tears, I can kind of deal with, but the actual crying hurts me.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 2

Staying home from school when you have pain filling your heart and not leaving the house for the next couple of days, sitting in your room staring up at the ceiling is my way of coping. My dad understands completely why I’m staying home and he’s being supportive. He calls the school every morning telling them that I’ve been sick since Friday night and that I won’t be in for a while. And I know I haven’t done much to really have Eydie care for me yet but I know she has a heart. The things I haven’t mentioned are us talking on our history outings. I’ve gotten closer to Eydie but not as close as we would have to be in order for her to worry.

“Jonathan?” My dad says knocking on the door.

“Yeah?”

“Someone named Eydie is here to see you.”

“Tell her I’m not here or something. Just make her go away.”

I can hear my dad sigh and I hear his footsteps recede. As far as I know, Alley’s still okay. Jessica hasn’t called or anything, so I’m assuming Alley’s okay. My dad’s footsteps come back and he says again through the door, “Eydie says it’s about Alley.”

I get up off of the bed as quickly as I can but I end up falling and smacking my face into the floor. “Shit,” I say and stand up as I feel my nose start to bleed. I open my door and my dad looks at me surprised.

“What happened?”

“I fell,” I say truthfully and I jog over to the front door. “Eydie, what’s wrong with Alley?”

She shrugs, “Jessica won’t tell me. I went to go visit her, and Jessica says she’s sick.”

I raise my hands up to my head and pull on my hair. “Shit, then let’s go! Come on! No time to waste!” I run out to Eydie’s car and I get in.

I see my dad stand in the doorway, he looks worried. Eydie gets in and pulls away from the driveway.

Running into the hospital again with Eydie is really weird, but this time Alley’s life is even more on the line. We wait for the elevator and thankfully it opens up and we walk into the belly of the beast.

It seems to take forever to get to the 12th floor. People getting on and getting off. My breathing quickens as I try so hard not to push everyone out of the way or to make sure that no one gets on or off before we get to the 12th floor. I look at the number. We’re barely on the 8th floor. Eydie is starting to notice that I’m getting a little shaky and she takes my hand, trying to calm me down. I look at her baffled and she smiles, mouthing, “It’ll be okay.”

I nod as the elevator seems to move even slower than ever. Finally it dings and we get out. “Jonathan!” Jessica says standing up.

“No time to talk,” I say and run over to 12B. I open the door, the curtains are open and the bed is nicely made. I look back at Eydie and Jessica. Jessica looks at me sadly and Eydie covers her mouth gasping. “Jess…?”

She sighs, “I’m so sorry Jonathan, she passed away.”

I shake my head, my hands raising up to my head again, I started pulling my hair as I collapse to the floor. “No, no, no, no, no, no!”

Jessica kneels down beside me and places a hand on my shoulder after taking my hands away from my head. “She did, I’m sorry. But she did say something.”

I look at a blurry Jessica, “What’d she say?”

“She said that she was going to visit Heaven two for a while and then go up to Heaven.”

That makes me cry even harder, my whole body shaking. Even Eydie is crying and so is Jessica. I keep shaking my head, and right now I’m even more mad at God then I ever have been before.

Scene: Cemetery…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 3

We drove in silence, there wasn’t anything to say really. So, as she pulled up to the cemetery I got out and so did she. I automatically walked to my mom’s grave and Eydie follows.

“Mom,” I say quietly, “Alley finally died. She was six. She died this morning or earlier today.”

Eydie stands behind me and I hear a slight, “aw.”

I sigh as I look back and stand up, “Mom I’d like you to meet Eydie. She’s a girl from school.” I motion for Eydie to come and stand next to me.

She looks down at the grave and says, “Hi,” she reads the gravestone and looks at me. “She was young.”

I nod, “I was only nine when she died.”

“How’d she die?”

“Cancer.”

“She died from cancer?”

I nod, “Yeah, and it’s sort of genetic.”

“Genetic? You mean, you can get it too then?”

I nod again, “Yeah, I already kind of have it.”

Eydie gasps, “What?”

“Yeah, it’s known as familial cancer.”

“Oh…” She says sadly.

“Alley had cancer too. She had what’s called nephroblastoma. It’s a kind of kidney cancer for kids and it can be found in babies three years and younger. But later on when she was three she got leukemia. I was there when she was born with it, getting my own treatment. Then I was around again when she came back when she was three.”

“Is that why you were so close to her?”

I nod, “Yeah,”

“What about her family? And her parents?”

“Her mom died shortly after she gave birth to Alley and neither the dad nor the family wanted anything to do with a sick baby. So the bastards gave her away. The hospital was the only home she knew.”

“So, you were like an older brother then?”

I nod, “Yeah and when she was four and five and maybe a little younger and I was in the hospital I’d hear her cry at night, so I’d go down and try to make her laugh.”

Eydie puts a hand on my shoulder and I wipe away any tears that are about to escape. “She’s in heaven though now.” Eydie says quietly.

I look at her and she says, “Sorry.”

“What for?”

She shrugs, “Aren’t you atheist?”

“Me? No, I believe in God. I’m just a little angry at him, that’s all. Don’t ever be sorry for showing your religion.”

She nods and says quietly, “Okay.”

“And, I do have to admit that that’s why I kind of chose you to be my partner.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were always so mean, always so snooty. So, I decided to change that.”

“And how did you expect to change that?”

“I wasn’t sure, but I kind of figure that I guess showing you Alley made you change, I don’t know.”

“So, wait, I don’t get it. Why me?”

“I knew what kind of a person you were. You have a good heart, you just needed someone to show you something else. I know my plan didn’t really work though.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t do much.” I look down at my mothers grave.

“You didn’t need to, you talking to me like I was different, and you showing me Alley has helped. I talked to my dad and it took a lot of convincing to tell them how I really felt and that was all because of you. I guess I’m trying to say thank you.”

I smile at Eydie, “You’re welcome. Thanks for making this task easy for me.”

She smiles, shaking her head and she slightly pushes me, “Yeah yeah, but will you go skating with me?”

I look down at my mom’s grave and then smile at Eydie, “Why not?”

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 4

I must admit that skating with Eydie and talking to her made me feel better. She made me laugh when I still had a lot of pain. Eydie’s going to stop by today so we can all go to Alley’s funeral. And speaking of Eydie.

“Hey Eydie,” I say as I open the door.

Eydie is wearing a white dress that goes all the way down to her ankles, and she’s wearing some black boots with an inch heel to go along with her dress. “Hey.”

“You look pretty today,” I say quietly.

“Oh thanks.”

I smile and see my dad walk over to us in a black suit. “Well, you both look nice today.”

“Thank you,” we both reply.

I tug at my black suit as well and my dad pats me on the shoulder, “You look fine.”

I smile and nod, “Alright.”

“Well kiddos, shall we go?”

Eydie and I nod and we walk over to the old truck. Eydie’s car pulled onto our lawn.

On our way to the cemetery just a few days later is sad but on our way there we all sang. 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. And then we also sang The Ants go Marching. I know we’re all sad but we decided to make it into a good day. The sky is blue and there’s not a single cloud in sight. A special day to bury a very special little angel.

Jessica cried the whole time and I must admit that I cried a few tears myself. As I get up to the podium I look out at all of the older surviving cancer patients, Jessica, and a few off duty nurses. The funeral was done nicely. A lot of pretty flowers and roses, and a picture of a smiling Alley with her wig on inside a flower heart. After that we all headed down to a small reception hall that Jessica and I rented and everyone pulled in their money.

Scene: Reception Hall…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 5

“Today, is the perfect day to bury a brave little girl. She was an angel on earth and now she’s one of God’s angels in Heaven. We shouldn’t cry because she’s gone but to be thankful that we all knew and loved her. Since Alley really was an angel, she deserves to be up in Heaven. She no longer feels any pain and she’s really happy up there. She gets to meet some really great people, and she gets to meet God. Over the years I have gathered photos of me and Alley, but mostly Alley. I have put together a memorial slideshow for Alley. Look, I know that we all miss a wonderful little girl but she would want us to be happy. She has always hated seeing someone angry or sad. One of her favorite songs was ``The Ants Go Marching.”

Someone turns on a CD player and the song starts playing.I smile as I start to sing the first part of the song, “The ants go marching one by one, her-ah, her-ah, the ants go marching one by one, her-ah, her-ah, the ants go marching one by one and the little one stops to suck his thumb and they all go marching down, into the ground, to get out of the rain. Boom, boom, boom. boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!”

When the song is over everyone laughs and I push a button and the slideshow starts. Alley May August 12, 2007 — December 12, 2013 An angel on Earth sent from God is now an angel in Heaven with God.

“Being that I did take an interest in little Alley as soon as she came in and I learned more about her, I asked Jessica to take pictures for me. She gladly did so to record Alley’s life. She would take very few pictures every month of Alley’s life.” I see a picture of Alley when she was three and she had gone back to the hospital. In that photo you could see a very curious thirteen year old boy with no hair. I smile, remembering that day. And a few more pictures into the slide show a video of a five year old Alley and a fifteen year old me pop onto the screen.

“Hi!” Alley says with a smile. She’s not wearing her wig or a scarf.

“Hi Alley,” Jessica says behind the camera.

“Hey Jess,” I say with a smile. “What’re you doing?”

“What’s it look like? I’m videotaping you!” I hear Jessica chuckle and that makes me and the me from last year smile.

“Why?” Alley quizzed, she gave that really curious look that a lot of kids give.

“Well, I suppose it’s because it’s your birthday. How do you feel?”

“I feel pretty good. Jonathan gave me a new scarf and a doll!”

“Can we see them?”

Alley nods and holds up a baby doll that has no hair. “Her name’s Lia!”

“Lee-ah?” Jessica says, “I like that name.”

Alley nods and laughs, “Yeah me too. And this is my scarf!” She holds up a blue scarf with a Tweety bird on it and Tweety has his (her? I’ve always gotten Tweety bird mixed up, is it a he or a she?) arms crossed and it says in big capital letters Attitude.

“Hey Jess?” I ask as I’m put back into the shot.

“Yeah?”

“Is Tweety bird a he or a she? I could never figure that out.”

“I’ve got an answer for that!” Alley says bouncing a little in her bed.

“Well, I’d love to hear it.”

“Tweety’s a she because girls rule and because Tweety seems like she would be a she and not a he!”

Jessica and I laugh. The me on camera is suppressing a smile, “Oh really? Well, that clears things up then!” Alley laughs and nods.

“Is there anything else Alley?”

“Oh! Yeah, I lost a tooth and then when I woke up my tooth was gone and I found like, three dollars.”

“Three dollars?” I asked, sounding surprised.

“Uh huh, that’s a lot of money for a kid like me!”

That makes Jessica and I laugh and then Alley holds up three dollars, her new scarf, and her doll.

“Do you like this birthday?” I ask her.

“Yes I do!”

I smiled, “Well good! I’m glad you enjoyed it!”

The video ends with Alley waving ‘bye’ and me smiling, waving as well. The slideshow gives us a few more pictures and then the slideshow ends with a picture of me and Alley smiling. I’m next to Alley’s bed looking at the camera and Alley’s looking at me laughing.

Alley the Angel and Jonathan Logden. Alley you will be missed, we love you all — Jonathan.

2007–2013

Everyone claps and a lot of people wipe their eyes, including me.

“Alley was like my sister and she made me realize that you can’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself on any level no matter what you have or what’s going on and that you can never be angry at someone forever. She was a brave little angel and I will deeply miss her. She has and always will be my inspiration. Well, what a better way to end my speech than with food? There will be cake after everyone has eaten to their hearts content. Also, after the food is gone or when it’s about six, we’ll all go outside and release six balloons.” And with that I step down and walk over to my crying friends and dad.

“Jonathan, that was beautiful.” Jessica says, giving me a hug.

“She’s right, you did a great job. Loved the slideshow!” Eydie says also giving me a hug.

My dad nods in agreement, “Alley I think would have loved it.” My dad also gives me a hug. At six everyone gathers out into the parking lot outside of the reception hall. There are six balloons that I have in my hands. One blue, pink, green, yellow, purple, and white. I hand my dad each balloon one by one until all six balloons are filled up.

I have three balloons, blue, pink, and purple. Alley’s first three favorite colors. Next Jessica comes over and stands next to me, holding the other three balloons, yellow, green, and white.

Jessica wipes her eyes as she says, “A sad day to bury an angel, but a perfect day to watch her go up to Heaven.” She releases all of her balloons and we all watch. Just then the wind starts to blow and it carries them even higher to the sky.

“We all love and will miss you Alley. An angel on Earth is now an angel in heaven.” I let go of my balloons and soon they soar as high as the ones Jessica just let go and they all fly off higher into the blue sky.

Scene: Park…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 6

Laying down in the back of my truck looking up at the night sky with a pillow under my head and my body wrapped up in a blanket laying next to Eydie is a nice way to end up a few days later, as well as getting an early winter break because of all the snow that’s fallen since Alley died.

“So,” Eydie says, looking over at me then back at the sky. “What are you thinking about?”

“Alley, and God.”

“Are you mad at God still?”

“No, I don’t think so, I think after Alley died and what I had said about being angry and stuff kind of opened my eyes. Alley once told me earlier this year that being angry darkens your soul and makes you unhappy. Hurting yourself more than you hurting the person you’re angry at. I don’t know where she got that but she’s right. So, I’ve been praying to God and I’m not angry anymore. I realize that things happen for a reason, and although I understand why what has happened yet I know it’s for some sort of a good reason.”

Eydie nods, “I agree with you completely. I can’t tell you the reason either yet. Maybe because you were meant to be in Alley’s life? And maybe because she needed to open your eyes?”

I think about it before responding and I look over at Eydie. “I think you’re right Eydie. I still have a lot to figure out, but I think you’re right.”

“You know why I’m right don’t you?” Eydie asks with a smirk.

“No, why?”

“Because girls rule.”

I look at Eydie but then I laugh, “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Scene:Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 7

Going back to school after a crazy winter break is something I never really look forward to. But this winter break was different. Eydie and I got closer, but we’re just friends, and we talk in school now. Eydie has more or less dropped her old friends because they didn’t approve of me. The treatment was starting to make me lose my hair again so I went to school bald. A lot of kids made fun of me but I don’t really mind it. This may be a small town but it’s not small enough to know if one person from your neighborhood is sick. I’ve also been seeing Dr. Martin weekly and talking to God every night. I’d say this was a happy ending right? And that it should just end here right? Boy do I wish it would. The story and my life end there, just like a fairytale or one of those romantic movies you see on tv. But it doesn’t. No life ever does. I mean, it can end with a happy ending if you die and close the book but what about your friends and family? Yeah, I got you there didn’t I? Well, my book doesn’t end here, and neither does my life.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 8

“Alright, let’s see,” I say looking down at the game of Life board in front of me. “I decide to go to college.”

“Ohho, wise choice grasshopper!” Eydie says laughing. Eydie has been watching a lot of Kung-fu movies and she recently started that one tv with David Carradine in it.

“Yeah, wise choice son. Wish I had done that.”

I laugh as I move my car on the college side. “Your turn Eydie.”

“I,” she says sticking her tongue out as she moves her car next to mine, “will do that.”

“Okay dad, it’s your turn.”

“Uh huh,” my dad says as he puts his car next to Eydie’s.

“Alright, now we’ve all made fine choices.” I flick the little arrow and it lands on three. “Okay, one, two, three.” I say moving my car.

As soon as the game is over Eydie looks down at her watch, “I’ve gotta go, but thanks for the fun!”

“Oh, ah, let me drive you.” I say getting up.

“How else would I get home?” Eydie asks with a laugh.

I shrug as I grab my keys, “I dunno.” I laugh as I tap her on the shoulder as I pass by. “Come on, let’s go.”

“See ya Dash,” Eydie says as she waves.

“See you Eydie! Be safe, you two!”

“We will!” Eydie and I say as we get outside just before I close the door.

“So,” Eydie says as she gets in the truck, “wanna like go roller skating or something later?”

I shake my head, trying to bring myself out of the fatigue I’m feeling. “Yeah, sure. That’ll be fun.”

I drive Eydie home in silence. At every stoplight I close my eyes and end up yawning or just closing my eyes for a while. “Are you okay?” Eydie asks, looking at me concerned.

“Uh huh, I’m fine.” As I pull up in front of her house I notice my vision gets a little blurry.

“Are you sure Jonathan?” She asks even more concerned. “Uh huh, I’m fine. Really I am.”

She sighs, “Alright. Well, be safe huh?”

I look over at her and nod, smiling a bit. She smiles back and gets out. “You too,” I say as she closes the truck door. “See you tomorrow.”

“Mmhmm, see ya tomorrow.” She says and walks off. I wait for her to get into her house until I pull away.

Driving home in silence is a little sad for me because that’s when my thoughts can plague my mind and fill the air. Alley’s been dead, and I’m not feeling so well. Mom’s been dead for a long time now, and I might be starting to join her. Dad’s lost so much already, I can’t leave him. But there are signs. Maybe it’s just me, I’m going to be fine. Yeah, I’ll be fine.

Those thoughts keep filling the air as I drive so I turn on the radio and the song Home by Chris Daughtry comes on. I start singing along, “I’m staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain. And feeling good don’t ever cost a thing. And the pain you feel’s a different kind of pain. Well I’m going home, back to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me. I’m not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong…” I trail off and let the next few lyrics be sung by Daughtry. “But your love remains true. And I don’t know why. You always seem to give me another try. So I’m going home, back to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me. I’m not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong…”

I again wait for the next few lyrics to pass but then I decide to turn off the radio. Those lyrics knew exactly what they were talking about. I feel it, and I know other people feel it too. Those lyrics said what I meant. Except for the old faces. I don’t want to leave. I love my life, but with the way I’m feeling right now, I just might have to go back home.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 9

I had to end up calling Eydie and telling her that I couldn’t go skating today, which was a bummer but I’m really super tired. My dad gives me food but there’s nothing I want to eat. All of my untouched food has either gone back in the fridge or thrown away. My dad’s really starting to worry but I keep telling him that it’s okay and that I’m only tired because it’s a Sunday. He doesn’t believe me and I don’t believe myself either.

“Jonathan?” My dad asks as he walks into my room.

“Hmm?” I ask, opening my eyes.

“You haven’t touched anything all day and you’ve been in bed. I…” he sighs before continuing. “I-I’m worried.”

“I’m fine dad, really, I’m just tired.”

“Did you take your meds?”

“No, not since yesterday.”

“Where’s your medicine?”

“In the top drawer of my dresser.” I say tiredly.

“Jonathan, ah, Eydie says she wants to stop by to say hi,” My dad says as he pulls out the medication.

I shake my head, “No dad, I just want to be alone. I’m really tired.” I think a little bit more before continuing. “I ah, didn’t have much sleep last night.” I lied.

I hear my dad sigh, “Alright.”

“Alright, here,” he hands me my tablets of medication and he walks away before coming back with a glass of water.

I sit up and take the glass of water as I down the medication as my dad watches.

I lay down and sigh. “Hey dad, ah, I need some sleep. I haven’t slept all day either.”

My dad nods and sighs, “Alright, I’ll let you be, but, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

“Yeah, I’ll come join the living soon.” I say joking, trying to lighten the mood.

My dad chuckles lightly but then the door closes and I hear his footsteps recede. I feel a tear roll down my face and it tickles.

Why God? Why are you doing this? My dad is a good man, he can’t lose me too. He just can’t. I don’t know what he’d do without me. Please? Please let me live. I can’t go home yet, I don’t want to. I can’t leave my dad. I keep crying as I keep repeating this in my head until I finally fall asleep.

Waking up with the sun hitting your face is nice for a change but now I’m feeling a little depressed, and even a little bit confused until I remember where I am and what’s been going on. I continue to lay down in my bed and then I pretend to be asleep on my side as my dad comes in and places a plate of toast and an apple on the nightstand next to my bed.

“Jonathan,” My dad whispers. He sighs and then I close my eyes as he leans over me and kisses me on the cheek. He pulls the blankets up more to cover my shoulder and then leaves, closing the door behind him.

As I sit up in bed I get a text and see that Eydie texted me. The text reads:

Hey, heard you weren’t feeling well. I’m sorry that you’re not, but maybe I can stop by later today after school. You’re okay, you just have a cold or something. But I’ll see you later. Maybe we can play Life again. That was fun. I’ll see you later. — Eydie.

I sigh, not sure if I should respond or not. I decide to since my phone is in my hand. I think of something before replying.

Hey yeah, I’m not feeling too well, you really don’t have to stop by today. I really don’t feel like seeing anyone. Maybe Life will be fun later but not now, or today. I’ll see you later yeah. — Jonathan

I just stare at the toast on my plate and the apple. I’m not hungry, and I do not want to eat. I hear my phone vibrate and I pick it up to see her response.

Okay, I guess, maybe you’ll start feeling better soon. I don’t know, but if you want me to come over, call me and I will okay? Feel better Jonathan. ):( — Eydie

I know what that ):( face meant. It means she’s worried and scared. We came up with a lot of different meanings for the faces we ended up making last month from texting just for fun to pass the time. I decide not to reply to that text with anything although I know she may be waiting for a reply but there’s nothing I can really say. Not to make her feel better or just as a text. There’s nothing for me to say. I set my phone down and take a bite of my toast but then I place it back on the plate and I lay down.

Thinking about my life isn’t depressing or sad. I just keep thinking about the good times my mom, dad, and I had before she died, and the good times my dad and I had after she died. I think about how I made a difference in Alley’s life and how she made a big one in mine. Thinking about it, it’s been a month since Alley died and it’s been about two months now that Eydie and I have really known each other. It’s been seven years since my mom died. And I’ve been on this earth for sixteen years.

I hear a knock on my door and I look over to my door and see my dad standing in the doorway.

“Hey, can I come in?”

“Yeah,”

My dad smiles a painful smile as he sits down on the edge of my bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“Fine,” I say with a shrug. “You?”

He shrugs too, “I don’t know, maybe a little tired.”

I nod, “Yeah, me too.”

“Do you want to do anything? Like watch tv or something?”

I shake my head, “No, that’s okay. Is there anything you want to do?”

He shakes his head too, “No, not really…” he pauses before continuing. “Have I ever told you about when you were born? Or when you and I sucked in some helium and sounded like chipmunks?”

I laugh a little bit at that and say, “No, and, I don’t really remember us doing that.”

“Do you want to hear about it?”

I nod, “Yeah, please.”

“Well, when you were born, I have to be honest with you, I was scared and your mother and I had only been married for about the same time you were in her stomach. I was really scared to propose to her but I knew she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with, even though I knew she was sick.”

I smile at that as I listen to my dad talk. He has a good heart and I just can’t leave him. Not yet, and not ever. He’s already buried one person he loved.

“But, when you came out, I thought you were a little bit of an ugly spud.”

I laugh, “Ugly huh?”

My dad smiles and laughs, “Yeah, real ugly. You were bloody and you were full of all of this white gunk and you were bald!”

I shake my head laughing, “And yet I’m still ugly huh?”

my dad laughs again. “Nah, you turned out to be a stud like me.”

I smile at that, “Tell me more.”

My dad nods, “Well, your mom was so happy to see you. She cried and so did I. After you got all cleaned up you were a handsome baby. The cutest one ever; even cuter than me!”

“Good!” I say with a laugh, “I became a handsome hairless baby.”

“Yeah, but you just loved to smile. All you ever did was smile. And talk oh my goodness, you were the only three month old baby that talked like he knew how to speak English and not baby talk!”

I keep smiling and I forget for a little while that I feel really sick and that all I want to do is sleep.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 2…Scene 10

Still at home and still feeling sick. It’s been about three days since my dad and I talked about memories. He’s left me alone because I asked and I haven’t talked to Eydie either. And I haven’t taken my depression medication in two days. Or any of my other medication at all actually. They’ve gotten harder for me to swallow and I just can’t take them anymore. There are other ways but medication is easier for me to do. Except for now I guess. I know that I’ll be leaving soon, and not to the hospital. My phone buzzes again and I look at the text.

Hey Jonathan, I’ve talked to your dad and I know you’re not feeling well but I’m really worried about you. We’ve gotten close and now I’m worried. Please please text me back. Please? — E

I know I’m hurting my best friend but there’s honestly nothing I can say to her. I sigh as I text her back.

Hey Eydie. I know you’re concerned and you’re my best friend but honestly, I just want to be left alone. I’m sorry but, I don’t want to talk to you or my dad or anyone else okay? I’m tired and I want to be *left alone*. Bye. — J

I let out a shaky breath as I press send. I know that was mean but it’s the truth and I want to be left alone! I don’t want to go to the hospital and die. I want to die at home but for right now, I want to be left alone. I look down at my phone and see another text.

:( :’( :¦( ):’( okay. — E

I put down my phone and hold my head in my hands. I hold in my bursts of crying and I just let it slowly seep out quietly. I hear my dad’s footsteps and I shut up immediately. I waited until my dad went back either into the kitchen or living room or wherever he went. I let it out slowly but the first cry came out loud and echoed throughout my room. I shut up again but then I let it all out.

Scene: Park…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 1

It took two weeks for me to finally get out of my room. And to finally go to the hospital for treatment and my meds in liquid form. My dad never stopped trying and neither did Eydie no matter how many times I asked to be left alone. A lot of things have happened to me that I can’t really explain or to talk about. But sitting out here outside in a secluded part of my favorite park it’s quiet. I’ve been thinking about my mom and Alley. And then I think about anyone I’ve ever known that has died. It’s amazing how far you can think back when it’s about death.

As I breathe in and then breathe out I watch as my breath comes out as steam. I keep trying to breathe out like the chimneys do when people are burning fires in their homes or when they cook soup in the winter but it doesn’t work. Of course not. Why would it? But as I continue to look up at the stars and the night sky, I know everyone including me wants to deny it, but I’ll be going there soon. I can feel it. And to tell you the truth, I’m not scared one bit. Not at all. No sir. I mean, I know I’ll be at peace there but I am worried. About my dad, Eydie, and Jessica. Those are the people I don’t want to leave. But I know that I’ll have to. But it also always sucks when a parent has to bury his kid. I mean, that’s just wrong. And sad. Very sad. After a few more minutes of just laying in the back of the truck looking up at the sky I decide to finally get up and leave.

As I pull into the driveway and turn off the truck I wait a while before going inside. Just thinking. About nothing really special and yet very special to me. My life. Something I do think that I will indeed miss. As I just sit back I sigh as I close my eyes. The cold is starting to settle in the truck but I don’t care. I don’t feel any kind of cold. I hear a knock on the window and I open my eyes and see that it’s my dad. I roll down the window but I don’t say anything.

“Jonathan, it’s almost midnight. I’ve been worried sick, are you okay?”

“Yeah dad, sorry, I guess time just got away from me.”

“Well, come on inside, it’s late and it’s cold.”

I nod and then roll up my window and get out of the truck. My dad and I walk to the house in silence and then we head off to bed in silence.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 2

I don’t really know what to say honestly. I’ve been recording my life these past few months since I started talking to Eydie. I don’t know why but I’ve always wanted to write something down about my life. Word for word, action for action. But I do admit that I haven’t been writing as much as I should have from the very beginning. I mean, I skip scenes and I kind of leave you out of the loop as to what’s going on at home, with Eydie, and just my life in general. I mean, I guess it’s all not too relevant to what I was originally writing for. Like the simple things a kid would write about; going to the store, eating grilled cheese for lunch, Jimmy just sneezed. That sort of thing. I guess the small things aren’t too relevant to what I really want to write about. My life, yes. So I guess I should write a bit. Tell you who I am.

My name is Jonathan Jay Logden, born June 17, 1997. I am sixteen years old and I’ve had cancer since I was nine. My mom died when I was nine and my dad’s raised me ever since. I learned how to drive when I was ten and I’ve only been driving legally since last year. I used to have a best friend named Alley May; she had no last name because she was an orphan. Just a few months ago I befriended Eydie. I may be dying of the disease that killed my mom. I don’t want to be too specific on what I have. All I want to tell you is that I take meds, and I have cancer. I never really wanted to socialize with anyone. I’m an only child but my family was perfect. Or, as close to perfect as you can get. We were so close to one another and never withheld any secrets. And I guess I could tell you my favorite memory.

Scene: Home

My mom and dad and I are all sitting down in the living room. My mom and dad on the couch holding hands and me sitting down on the floor playing with an old truck. It’s summer. And I’m about seven years old. My hair is short and I’m wearing a striped black and white t-shirt and blue jeans.

“Come here love, we’ve got something for you.” My mom smiles down at me happily.

I stand up and walk over to my mom and dad. My dad grabs something that was hidden underneath the couch and he pulls out two board games. BattleShip and Life.

“Cool!” I say looking at the board games. We’re pretty poor and have money problems. Some of the reason of why I was homeschooled for the longest time but I’m happy. It means more family time and an even later bedtime.

“Which one do you want to play?” My dad asks.

“BattleShip, let’s try that first.”

“Okay,” my mom and dad say together.

We unwrap the game and read some of the instructions. My mom and dad stay on the couch and I sit on the floor facing them. We put in our ships and start playing. My mom was the caption. My dad was the jester. We talked the whole time, laughing about things that had just happened the other day and we talked a lot about some other stuff that my mom and dad told me about when they first met.

Back then, I understood only so much, but now, I can understand everything. There are so many more memories, but I really like that memory. I don’t know why, but that’s the main memory I always think of whenever I think of my mom and dad. We have a lot of photos but very few videos sadly. It’s been a long time so I can’t really remember my mom’s voice. Only in my dreams do I ever hear her but once I wake up, she fades as if she weren’t real, as if she were only a figment of my imagination. I really miss my mom, but I know that I’ll really miss my dad. Either way, I can’t win. I can’t have my mom unless I don’t have my dad, and I can’t have my dad unless I don’t have my mom. So either way, I’m screwed and the part, damned if you do and damned if you don’t even play a role. But I guess it’s now more or less, damned if you have one and not the other. Or something like that. I’m also up shit creek without a paddle. Yeah, I like using those, I guess more or less now I can use them.

Scene: Hospital…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 3

Yeah, I’m in the hospital now, but it’s only to check up with my doctor Dr. Martin. He says I’m doing good but he’s in the room with my dad right now and I just walked out. I decide to take a walk all the way down to Jessica’s desk. My dad will know where I’ve gone.

“Hey Jess,” I say, walking up to the desk and stopping in front of it.

“Hey Jonathan,” Jessica smiles up at me as she looks away from her computer. “How’s everything going?”

“Good, it’s going good. Dr. Martin says I’m fine but he’s in there with dad right now and honestly, I think he’s just lying to try and make me feel better. And I know that people want to be in the loop or know what’s going on but not me, I mean, I guess I like being in the dark.”

“Why?” Jessica asks, resting her head in her hand.

I shrug, “I dunno, I guess, it’s like that one song, where they say ‘Don’t tell me if I’m dying, ’cause I don’t wanna know. If I can’t see the sun, maybe I should go…’ you know that song? I think it’s by Thriving Ivory or something.”

“Yes, I know that song. It’s a good song.”

I nod in agreement, “Jess, if I don’t make it…” I suppress my wanting to cry and I wipe away the tears before they start to form. “If I don’t make it…” I can’t even finish my sentence before she stands up and walks over to me to give me a hug.

“Don’t you even think that way you understand me? You’re going to be just fine, you understand? Nothing’s going to happen to you. You understand?”

I nod, hugging Jessica tightly not wanting to let her go. “Alright Jess, I won’t.”

“Good, good boy. Don’t you ever think like that.” She pulls away and smiles at me but I can see worry in her eyes, “You’ve gotta be positive.”

“Okay,” I say and smile. “I’ll be positive.”

“Good,” she says with a smile, “good.”

I nod, and then I hear footsteps behind us.

“Well sport, you ready to go?”

I look back at my dad and smile, “Sure dad.”

“Alright, let’s go.” He looks at me, that smile is fake and he’s trying to hide the worry and sadness. But it’s not working. It never has with me. I’ve always known when he was lying or trying to hide something from me.

I give a tight smile and wave at Jess. She does the same but her smile is real. “I’ll see you later Jonathan.”

I keep smiling and I turn around and start walking away with my dad. Silent.

Scene: Home…Present…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 4

I’ve gotten too sick to really write anything anymore. No more conversations, no more of what’s going on. Not that much is going on. I’m just lying in bed, drinking my food and my water. My meds are getting pumped into my system.

My dad knocks on the door and enters, “Hey sport.How you feeling?”

I shrug, “Fine I guess. I don’t…too tired.”

He nods, “Eydie’s here to see you.”

“Alright.”

Eydie walks in and she looks both very worried and sad, “Hey…” she says quietly

I try to smile but my lips are dry and cracked so I can’t. “Hey,” I reply.

She sits on the end of my bed and I can see her eyes studying me. “You look so pale, and tired.”

I give a slight laugh and nod a bit, “Very tired.”

“You look skinnier too.”

I look down and notice that she is right.

“I just thought I’d stop by to say hi…” she pauses a while before continuing. “I’m sorry I brought up your appearance. I just…can’t believe it.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“You…sure?”

“Of course,” I give a weak smile and Eydie smiles back at me.

She leans down and kisses me on the cheek, “I’ll see you later.”

I nod and she gives a slight wave and I watch her walk away. Not too much later my dad walks in and smiles sadly at me.

“Hey sport, get some rest huh?”

“Yeah,” I say quietly.

He closes the door and I can hear his footsteps recede. I close my eyes with a sigh and soon I fall asleep.

Scene: Memories…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 5

I wake up to the smell of pancakes and baking apples, I smile as I get up and open my door. I walk into the kitchen and smile at my parents. My mom is cooking at the stove, and my dad is setting the table.

“Good morning Jonathan,” My mom says, smiling at me.

“Good morning,” I say as I take my place at the table.

“Morning squirt.”

“Morning dad.”

My dad smiles too and takes his place at the table as well and my mom brings over two plates, each filled with four pancakes. She sets the plates down in front of us and then grabs her plate off of the counter. She sets it down in front of her chair and she sits down.

“Did you have a good night’s sleep my love?” My mom asks as she pours maple syrup over her pancakes.

“Yeah,” my dad and I reply at the same time.

I look over at my dad and he looks at me, we both smile at each other. The same game that’s played every day for the past few years.

My mom smiles too and she puts down the maple syrup bottle. My turn. I grab the bottle and pour some onto my pancakes and then pass it over to my dad. I stab fork holes in the pancakes so the syrup can go through. “What did you dream love?”

I shrug, “I can’t really remember. All I know is that it was a good dream.”

“That’s good enough.”

I nod and then she looks at my dad. “And you? What was your dream?”

“I can’t really say for sure. I dreamt you guys though, and we lived in a beautiful town. And we ate pancakes every morning, and we’d travel around town for a while. We taught Jonathan whatever he needed to know…” my dad laughs a little, poking his pancakes with his fork like I do. “Oh wait, that dream is real.”

My mom and I smile at that happily. “Mom?”

“Yeah love?”

“Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

She nods as she cuts into her pancakes and I take a bite out of mine. “I did honey.”

“Did you dream?”

She nods again as she’s chewing and she swallows, “Yeah, I did.”

“Was it good?” I ask, my mouth full of food.

She smiles as she tries not to laugh at my voice, “Yes my darling, it was a good dream. You know what I dreamt?”

My dad and I shake our heads.

“Well,” she says as she places her fork down on the table and exhales. She holds her hands and she smiles at us. “I dreamt that we all went to the park and had a picnic. The day was beautiful and happy and we just had fun.” I smile at my mom and so does my dad. But looking back on that now, I can see the pain in her face even though she was happy, and I can also see that she was lying about her dream.

“So, what if we make your dream come true?” I ask my mom as I swallow another bite of pancake.

“How’s so love?”

“Let’s just pack up some sandwiches and head out on our way.”

My mom and dad smile sweetly at me and they both say, “Why not?”

We sit down under a tree near the small lake and my mom sets down our picnic basket. My dad finishes making sure that our blanket is spread out wide so we can spread out the food if we need to.

“Talk about a beautiful day,” my mom says with a smile.

“Just like your dream?” I ask with a smile.

She nods, “Just like my dream baby.” She ruffles my hair with her hand and then opens up the picnic basket. “Now let’s eat.”

Scene: Memories…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 7

“Good morning Jonathan!” Jessica says as I approach the desk.

“Morning Jess” I say with a smile, my voice changing from high to low.

She chuckles, “And how are you?”

“I’m doing good and how are you?”

“Same for me, happy birthday by the way.”

That makes my smile wider and my teeth show.

“Ah! There’s those pearly whites!”

I laugh.

“Alley can’t wait to see you,” she says, her voice almost in a whisper.

“I look towards Alley’s door and clutch the little plastic store bag.

“Go on inside, I’ll be there with the camera in a few.”

I nod and I start to walk towards Alley’s door. I do our secret knock and then enter. All of the lights are off and the curtains are drawn. “Alley?” My eyes are trying hard to adjust and I feel along the wall near the door for the lights. I finally find them and flick them on.

I gasp a little as Alley yells, “Happy birthday!” and I see streamers and balloons and a ‘Happy Birthday’ banner going across the wall. My smile grows wide and I walk over to the little girl in the bed.

“Whoa,” I say speechless.

“Happy birthday Jonathan,” Alley says again smiling.

“Why, thank you,” I say looking around, almost forgetting the bag in my hand.

“How old are you now Jonathan?”

“Fifteen.”

“You’re old,” Alley says jokingly with a smile.

I raise my right eyebrow and smile, “That won’t stop you from loving me will it?” I wink at her and she tries to wink back but she ends up blinking.

“Nothing can stop my love for you,” she says pretending along with me.

Just then Jessica walks in and we both smile. The camera is rolling. “Well hello there birthday boy! Hello Alley!”

“Hey Jess,” Alley and I reply.

“So, our birthday boy Jonathan here is turning fifteen years old today. How did you like the little surprise?”

I laugh happily and look around once more, “It’s wonderful, I love it actually.”

“Glad you do!” Alley replies happily.

“Was this your idea?” I ask, looking at a smiling Alley.

She nods her head with a smile, “Uh huh!

“Well it sure is amazing! Thank you!” I lean over and give Alley a little kiss on the cheek.

“Alright, hold on you two,” Jessica stops the video from recording and she turns it to camera mode. “Okay, smile!”

I look towards the camera and smile while Alley’s looking at me smiling, her eyes glowing.

Scene: Home, Memories and Dreams…Jonathan Logden…Act 3…Scene 8

Eydie and I are laughing as we skate around the rink hand in hand. Almost anyway. I’m holding her wrist in my hand lightly as we skate around the wooden floored rink.

“Thanks for bringing me here Jonathan, it’s been so fun!” She looks around as we start to step out of the rink. The music stops and a lady’s voice comes on over the loudspeaker.

“Thanks for skating! We hope you enjoyed the two hour skate fun! Come back again soon and skate some more!”

“And a total time warp right?” I laugh as I sit down on a bench.

Eydie nods and laughs in agreement with me, “Oh boy yes!” She sits down too and starts to take off her skates.

All of a sudden the loudspeaker turns on again but instead of the woman’s voice it’s a man’s.

“Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan, wake up!”

I feel a hand shake me a little bit and I wake up. I see Jessica, Eydie, and my dad standing above me.

“Hey guys,” I say tiredly.

“Sorry I had to wake you Jonathan, but we all just want to say something,” I could see the sadness and worry in my dad’s eyes.

“Okay.”

Jessica and my dad look at each other and then leave the room, leaving Eydie and I alone.

She smiles sadly and looks at me, sitting down in a chair that’s next to my bed. “Well, gee Jonathan, I have so much to say to you, and we’ve only known each other shortly.” She wipes away a tear, still smiling.

I smile back at her as I’m looking up at her, the oxygen tubes stuck in my nose.

“I want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me Alley, thank you for helping me change, thank you for knowing who I really am. Thank you so much Jonathan. All of this, everything that’s happened since we met, thank you so much.” Her face turns red and more tears come. She sniffles, “You really are a true friend Jonathan, a wonderful person.”

I feel a tear or two run down my cheek and I smile at her.

“You made me notice how bad I was and how I was letting my parents control me. Thank you Jonathan.”

I nod and I wipe away my tears with my left hand, my left arm having no IV sticking into my arm.

She stands up and leans down, hugs me as tight as one person can hold and hug a person laying down. I hug her back, feeling her silent cry as she tries to keep herself from crying out loud. She pulls away slowly and smiles down at me. “See ya later huh Jonathan?”

I nod, and wipe away more tears. She turns away and walks away, opens the door and heads out. Jessica coming in next.

“Hey Jonathan, how’re you feeling?” Jessica closes the door behind her and then she walks over to me, sitting down in the chair.

I shrug, “I’m okay, but very tired.” I can feel myself struggle to talk because of how weak I feel.

She nods sadly, a tight smile pressed upon her lips, “Well, Jonathan, I never thought I’d see the day. I’ve seen so many kids come and go, some end up leaving because they get well, and some end up leaving like Alley did. But I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to leave this way.”

She just stares at me a moment before continuing. “Jonathan, ever since you were little, I’ve always thought of you as family, and no matter how sick you were, you always smiled. I’m going to miss you Jonathan.”

See? Everyone knows it’s my time to go. I smile as more tears escape and I smile.

“Why do good people die young?” Jessica asks herself. Her hand is on top of mine now and she’s just studying me with her eyes. She then stands up and smiles down at me. She leans down, gives me a kiss on my cheek and gives me a hug. “I’ll see you later Jonathan.” She pulls away and I see Jessica wipe away the tears and the wet streaks that were on her face. She turns to leave but she looks back at me once more before opening the door and then closing it behind her once more.

Not too much later my dad comes in and closes the door behind him. “Hey sport.”

“Hey dad,” I say weakly.

He sighs as he sits down on the chair and studies me, “Jonathan, I want to say that you’ve been a blessing in my life, just like your mother was. And I love you deeply so very, very much.” He wipes away some tears and blinks a couple of times. “I want you to know that it’s okay to let go. Go up there with your mom and be up there with her…” his voice catches and he closes his eyes.

I start to cry more and I shake my head no. “Dad…”

“Shh,” he says as he strokes my hair, “I love you with all of my heart and soul Jonathan. You are my life and as much as I want you down here with me, you can’t suffer this way. I love you so much and I can’t stand to see you suffer. Go to your mom Jonathan. We’ll see each other again soon. I promise.”

He really starts to cry and so do I, his face is red and full of pain. I keep shaking my head no. “No” I manage to say.

“I love you Jonathan, but you can’t stay here! You have to leave!” He’s stopped crying now, but his face is still red and the pain is still plastered across his face.

“Thank you dad, for everything.” I look at him through watery eyes and blink, letting the tears fall. “I love you.” My dad is the last image I see as I stop breathing and I just continue to look up at him.

**All of a sudden I see my mom waiting for me, a smile on her face, “Hi baby!”

I run over to her and hug her happily. I start crying and she just embraces me with her hug. I feel at peace and I feel happy. I’m now at home with my mom. I then see Alley and she has her hair back and she looks so very happy.

“Jonathan!” She says as she runs towards me. I hug her too, so very happy. The feelings of peace and happiness are overwhelming.

**Or at least, that’s what Jonathan would’ve wrote if he could. After he looked at his dad for the last time and stopped breathing his dad closed his son’s eyes and broke down crying. Jessica and I went into the room and tried to comfort his dad, although all of us were feeling lost and sad. We had just lost a very important person. Jessica and whoever said, “Why do the good die young?” is right. Why? I guess that’s a question that may never be answered.

Scene: That Day…Eydie Myers…Act 3…Scene 10

As we watch Jonathan’s casket being lowered down into the ground, sadness washes over us. Everyone who attended was quiet. But not many people showed. When the kids who were mean to Jonathan figured everything out, they didn’t attend the funeral, they didn’t even talk much in school. It was like after Jonathan died, everything and everyone else died along with him. The days of spring got cold and chilly, no birds were chirping, not even the squirrels were playing. Now, in the real world when someone dies everything continues to be the same and everything just works in that way that nothing happened. But not to me. To me, it feels as if the world had almost stopped and yet there was this feeling of peace. That feeling of peace knowing that Jonathan is no longer suffering.

“C’mon, let’s go huh?” Jessica says as she puts an arm around my shoulders.

I look up at her and nod, “Let’s go Jess.”

Mr. Logden continues to stand there, looking at the casket in the ground and saying ‘goodbye’ officially to his son. Jessica and I walk away, turning our backs on them and not looking back. Why does it feel that after a funeral of someone that you were close to that you’re never going to laugh or smile again? I don’t know, but I know I’m not going to feel this way forever. I thanked Jonathan, and I still do to this day. His dad gave me this journal and it’s marked as The Lesson on his notebook. Every small page is filled and marked as acts and scenes. When Jonathan and I started to get close, he told me what he wanted to be when he grew up.

“Jonathan, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I want to be a movie writer. Write the scripts of movies and maybe even write plays like Shakespeare. I won’t be as good as him, I know that, but to write a play would be a wonderful thing to do.”

I haven’t been able to touch this book and to fill in the last scene until this day. Twenty years later and on the day of his burial. Jonathan, I want to say thank you again and I know that you’re up in Heaven. — Eydie :)

Scene: Alternative Ending…

I haven’t been able to touch this book and to fill in the last scene until this day. Twenty years later and on the day of his burial. Mr. Logden ended up dying a year later, he wasn’t doing too well. Everyone tried going up there and cheering him up but he just wasn’t happy. He’d cry all the time. He buried two people he loved the most. But his cause of death wasn’t self-inflicted. He didn’t commit suicide. He just died of a broken heart. He tried moving on, but when time came of his wife’s death he got worse, and when Jonathan’s death came up, he just lasted a few days longer until one of his friends went up there and found him dead, clutching his son’s pillow, with dried tears. But Jonathan, I want to say thank you again and I know that you’re up in Heaven, and I’ll see you again soon someday, but not yet. I have my own family now and I plan to stay here for as long as I can. — Eydie :) ;)